It’s a common problem I see happen again and again: divorced women of a certain age get out there in the dating world, looking for companionship, and find divorced men who want wife number two (or three, or four, or wherever they’re at).
Women tend to be emotionally responsible like that and don’t lead people on. These women want some sort of commitment, but they just don’t want to do the whole marriage thing, again. While at first it may all seem surprising, if you take a closer look, you’ll actually find it makes a lot of sense that divorced men want to remarry, and divorced women often don’t.
Women create the social calendar
Women are often the social coordinators within their marriages. They get the pleasure of pestering their partners to check their calendars to make social plans, all to make a plan that the partner ends up really enjoying. Women make sure the couple remains social, as a whole. They push their partners to go out and see friends. Without a wife, some men don’t have that self-motivation to be social and they become lonely.
Men can be domestically helpless
Let’s be honest: a lot of men don’t know how to properly clean or cook or do their laundry. Their moms babied them. Maybe their ex-wives babied them. Maybe they just worked so much that the understanding was their partner would pick up some of the slack around the house. But now she’s gone. Truly, some men just feel like kids again when they’re divorced, in a bad way. They don’t know how to care for themselves.
Men need an emotional confidante
Men tend to struggle to emotionally open up, and often only finally feel comfortable doing so with a romantic partner. A lot of men only completely become vulnerable with a wife, but never really with their male friends. So once that wife is gone, that can leave a man feeling totally emotionally constipated and looking for that confidante again.
They want a mommy
Sadly, a lot of men just don’t know how to function unless they have a woman in their life for whom, her husband is her whole life. Some men just need a woman who lives and breathes to be there for her husband, support her husband, and have no life outside of her husband. These are insecure men, but there are plenty of them. And they don’t feel they get that sort of devotion from just a girlfriend.
Meanwhile, women are finally free
Now let’s look at divorced women who specifically don’t want to get remarried. While there are men out there looking for a mommy/wife, there are women doing all that they can to dodge that situation because they just got out of it. A lot of divorced women were with self-absorbed men who were too needy. Once they’re divorced, these women feel finally free! They don’t want to be anybody’s mommy again.
Divorced women want some selfish time
Understandably, some divorced women just want some selfish time. Women are often good at compromising and, perhaps, do more of it than their partners. A lot of women get divorced and realize that, for years, they mostly did what their partners wanted to do all of the time. They’re ready to not consider anybody else’s desires for a while. Marriage requires the type of compromise that, quite frankly, they’re tired of.
Divorced women have a friend group
Divorced women have that social network. They have emotional support because they keep up their friends during marriage, and are generally better than men at cultivating close friendships. They have plenty of people in whom they can confide, even when they’re single. They really don’t need a man to do that. In fact, they may prefer to not be another man’s therapist.
Men can fear women will stray
Though we may think women have jealousy issues, I often find that, as people get older, the possessiveness shifts to the men. It’s often divorced men who fear being abandoned, more than divorced women. A lot of divorced men fear that, if they don’t’ make a woman their wife, she may grow tired of them and date someone else. Divorce has left them feeling insecure.
Divorced women can feel more confident
Meanwhile, divorce has a way of empowering a lot of women. Some women who didn’t really see their value or realize how amazing they were during marriage finally recognize it all after marriage. They don’t fear a boyfriend will leave them. Or even if he does, they don’t feel they’ll be lost without a man. They feel stronger after divorce, and don’t need a crutch of a new husband.
For many women, they stick to one person
I know it’s a blanket statement but, I think a lot of men like the idea of marriage as a concept, whereas women were particularly drawn to just marrying this one specific person. Women wanted to marry that one guy, whereas a lot of men just want a wife – and she can be interchangeable. A lot of women just didn’t see themselves committing forever to more than one person.